I'm Satisfied

I feel like I've lived in a bubble the last six weeks.  I've been playing it safe, following ALL of the surgeon's instructions.  I'm 6 weeks "post-op" and yesterday I was cleared to go back to work.  I have to follow up with physical therapy, but can finally be released of the hard neck brace I was wearing and return to normal activity.  I was very happy to hear this, as I had become frustrated at the uselessness I was feeling.  Unable to do many things for myself over the last 6 weeks, it became difficult to believe that I contributed to anything in society.  So I was eager to go back to work.

I started out by easing back in, a "short" five hour day yesterday.

Two hours in, the aching shoulder pain that had disappeared and stayed gone for the last six weeks crept back in.  And it just kept getting worse.  To the point that at the end of those five hours, though I got up, stretched, didn't sit longer than an hour, did ALL the right things, I was in the same pain as before surgery, minus the aching in my neck.

Inside My Heart - Day 3

Tell your heart to beat again.  This song needs no other words.  This is my prayer as Ferguson heals.

Inside My Heart - Day 2

Never fear, I have another song for you!  This week, my goal is to post songs about hope and focus on remaining strong and living in peace with everyone, running after peace.

I wish that I was not sitting here writing about the tragic situation in Ferguson, MO.  But it is hard to be unaffected by something that is so close to home, and worse, something that continues to escalate.  This post has nothing to do with my opinion.  I do have one, but this isn't the time or the place for it.

Inside My Heart - Day 1

I began a post this morning that was cut short by taking Kaleb to his first day of school.  The girls started last week in the public school system, but for those of you who know some of the struggles Kaleb has had, we made the decision to put him in a local Catholic school.  And we are pleased with this decision.  We were even welcomed anonymously yesterday and it made my heart happy to find this sign in our yard.  Thank you Sacred Heart for making us feel welcome and for providing what I believe will be a safer and healthier environment for my son!

Living In Fear

My heart is heavy again tonight.  I've had trouble really sleeping these past two nights.  I'm uneasy.  I am working hard to fight against anxiety.  I do not want to give in to the fear that in years past would have crippled me.  Battling anxiety, fear and paranoia for much of my life, what is happening right now in my community is unsettling, to say the least.

In my previous post, I wrote about the need for peace.  That we need to run after peace.

It seems that there are still large groups of people completely unwilling to live at peace with one another.

Maybe I'm naive.  I'm sure you'll tell me if I am.  But when five days have gone by and there is still unrest and protesting, some turning to violence, I stand behind the police using the means within their possession to protect the city once the sun goes down.

Do Not Retaliate - A Candid Response To The Violence In Ferguson MO

When bad things happen, I think it is only normal for our first human (i.e. non-Christian) reaction to be anger or desire to retaliate.  What happened wasn't fair and so we should DO something.  We should somehow take action, to get vengeance.

All throughout the Bible, God instructs us not to retaliate.  That vengeance is his and his alone.