Fear dominates my life.
It isn't always in the forefront. Sometimes it is hidden by distractions. But it is always there. I can't escape it. Sometimes it consumes me. I'll wake in the middle of the night, either from a nightmare or sleep paralysis, having just felt like someone was standing in my house. Someone that shouldn't be in there. And then I have to wake my husband up, have him pray with me, and then have him go through the house to make sure everything is still locked up and the children are safely still in their beds...all the time, I'm praying that he doesn't get killed.
I know it's irrational. Much of what I fear is unrealistic. Some of it is possible. Kris dying. One of the kids dying. These are all things that COULD happen. But, apparently, I'm not supposed to think about these things with the frequency that I do.
It isn't always in the forefront. Sometimes it is hidden by distractions. But it is always there. I can't escape it. Sometimes it consumes me. I'll wake in the middle of the night, either from a nightmare or sleep paralysis, having just felt like someone was standing in my house. Someone that shouldn't be in there. And then I have to wake my husband up, have him pray with me, and then have him go through the house to make sure everything is still locked up and the children are safely still in their beds...all the time, I'm praying that he doesn't get killed.
I know it's irrational. Much of what I fear is unrealistic. Some of it is possible. Kris dying. One of the kids dying. These are all things that COULD happen. But, apparently, I'm not supposed to think about these things with the frequency that I do.
