Our Story

My name is Jamie and I am a sinner.

I have made many mistakes in my life and have made decisions that have brought much collateral damage, including seven years spent as a prodigal and adulterer.  I am married to a man that spent 20+ years chained in addiction to pornography.  It's an ugly story, but God has exchanged our ashes for beauty and we now wear forgiveness like a crown.

Though a born again Christian most of my life, on April 6, 2012 God became real to me.  Christ's death and resurrection came to life in my heart and I no longer live under the weight of guilt and shame and self-loathing.

I have been remade.

And I am a beautiful creation.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

FAILURE is not FINAL, and I hope that you feel encouraged and find HOPE, as I write out my journey.

For I will gather you up from all the nations and bring you home again to your land.  Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean.  Your filth will be washed away and you will no longer worship idols.  And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you.  I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
Ezekiel 36:24-26

On April 6, 2012, God became real to me.  I had that stony, stubborn heart and in a terrifying step of faith and complete surrender, I let my walls down once and for all.  I was given a tender, responsive heart and have been learning what life looks like burdened no longer with the mistakes of my past.

God called me to share my story in September 2012 and Loving When It Hurts was born.  It started with exposing the deep, dark secrets my husband and I had hidden away.  Speaking life and truth in a world filled with death and lies has become my passion.  So, in obedience to God I took a risk and revealed the ugliest parts of my life to anyone who encounters this blog; I pray that God's love and HOPE speak to your heart as you read my story.



At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received

And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
(I am made complete)
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me

And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

I'd trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy

I lay every burden down
I lay every burden down
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down

4 comments:

  1. Hi Jamie -- Praising God for the story of your and your husband's redemption. My story is very messy too. And as we share honestly I can't help but think it can help set others free from the dirty secrets that hold them prisoner. THanks for being brave and shining so brightly for Him...Blessings...

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    Replies
    1. You know, I'm finding that it's the messy stories that I like the best. Because while there is tremendous hurt and pain, there is so much joy and ministry opportunities. I'd be a fool to be missing out on ALL that God has for me-and it has to include sharing my story...my mess.

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  2. I wonder if this will apply to my marriage, My husband is not a believer. Well he does believe in God but thinks nothing of it in his life. I am a stander and I know this is for the better of us both but I am sad today. I worry that because we don't have children that we are not as important to restore:(

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    Replies
    1. There is no truth to that part at all! It's a lie from the evil one, to try to give you one more reason not to hope. But there is always hope. Do you know how many stories I have read and known of where there have been restoration babies? God can do the impossible! He can restore when it seemed impossible. I can promise you that. Kids or not. Praying for you. Don't give up hope. Our God is in the business of miracles.

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