I am sitting in church this morning, thinking about a million different things. In the midst of all the thoughts, something broke inside of me. Something that needed to break. 2017 was probably the busiest year for me. I can't remember when the last time was that I felt so busy. And I'm not just talking about work or things I had to do.
My heart has felt busy.
Distracted.
Distant.
As I reflect on the events of 2017, I realize that it is the first time since 2012 that I've allowed my heart to wander. Not to another person, but to, really, anything but God.
He's there. But I've not been seeking him.
I've been feeling this tugging for several months now. Something telling me I'm not in the right place spiritually. I'm in no way where I was 6 years ago when I was still trying to run from God.
But I'm also not where I was 5 years ago, when my heart was tender and I was always running to the feet of Jesus. Little by little, as it always happens, we allow life to get in the way.
It was a difficult year for me, personally and professionally.