The Day I Chose To Leave

An amazing thing happened the day that I chose to leave.

I had spent so many years trying to make it work.

Trying to heal what was broken in my own heart.

Time and time again I would fall on my face, wondering why I just couldn't get it right.  Why couldn't I just be happy?  Why couldn't I fight off the constant anxiety?  What was wrong with me?  And how could I fix it?

I was unhappy.

No.

That's not quite right.

I was miserable.

The Excellent Wife

I would never consider myself to be an excellent wife.  Most days I don't even feel like a good wife.  Or even a halfway decent wife.  Because the truth is I make mistakes.  And I'm not talking about the mistakes I made in the past - big and little.  I'm talking about day to day "I messed up in how I treated my husband" mistakes that still occur with much repetition.