Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Hola desde Mexico!

I am writing today from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  Kris and I are here celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary.  It has been beautiful here, if not a little cloudy.  Today was the first sunny day we have had and you would think that with the waves crashing against the beach and the tropical weather, everything would be wonderful, right?

Today was a rough day for me though.  I had a mix up with the pharmacy and my doctor and have been off of my anti-depressant for a week, and I am feeling it.  Not in the sense of a deep, dark depression, but there is a definite feeling of my emotions being far outside my control.  Add to that increased pain and it was just a recipe for disaster.  Kris and I had a bit of a rough start to the day, but were finally able to communicate and make peace.  It seems like such a waste to fight in a beautiful place like this, celebrating a long commitment to one another.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Slipping Through My Fingers

I haven't been sleeping well these last few days.  I am on an antibiotic that interferes with my muscle relaxer, so I haven't been able to take that since Thursday.  I can't get back on it until Friday.  So, I have been wide awake at 3AM the last three nights.  There are so many factors going on right now that have contributed to my heightened anxiety.  The medication, the transition to the kids being out of school for  the summer, and the fact that we are leaving the country soon to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.

But really, the largest part has probably been that I have officially entered a new phase in my life.  I am 40 years old, and my oldest just graduated from high school!!  It's insane!  I have no idea what happened to the last 18 years but it was surreal Saturday, watching Katherine walk the stage and accept her fake diploma.  ;-)  I teared up several times and just could not get the song below out of my head.  Katherine has told me multiple times that she is going to play this song at her wedding, just to make me cry.  Abbey also has confirmed she plans to do this.  The song is special to me and my girls, but especailly Katherine.  The last time we saw Mamma Mia at The Fabulous Fox Theater a couple of years ago, Katherine grasped my hand and held it throughout the entire song, while I just bawled.  It was such a sweet, tender moment that I will never forget.  So, as the ceremony continued, the lyrics to "Slipping Through My Fingers" wouldn't leave my mind.