Today was a rough day for me though. I had a mix up with the pharmacy and my doctor and have been off of my anti-depressant for a week, and I am feeling it. Not in the sense of a deep, dark depression, but there is a definite feeling of my emotions being far outside my control. Add to that increased pain and it was just a recipe for disaster. Kris and I had a bit of a rough start to the day, but were finally able to communicate and make peace. It seems like such a waste to fight in a beautiful place like this, celebrating a long commitment to one another.
And yet, at the same time, I don't think it would be us without the tension from time to time. Our communication, while good, is not great all the time. We are so very far from perfect. It isn't realistic to always be "good." Marriage ebbs and flows. It is filled with highs and lows. And while our lows are nothing like they used to be, we still fight. We still disagree and misunderstand one another. To some degree, I expect that will always remain. I think we can grow and learn to fight in a healthier way, but I don't think it is realistic to think that we will get to a place where we are always calm and always happy with one another. Not to limit God or anything - but we are, after all, still human.
We are now halfway through our trip and I can't help but wish time would freeze here. Not that I don't want to get back home to my kids and my awesome dog that I miss like crazy - but being here, not working, just relaxing, it is good for the soul. So in that regard, I wish we could stay here forever! But while time away is valuable, I kind of miss the usual grind...don't get me wrong, I'm already dreading going back to work! But there is comfort in familiar ground. Also, I miss my bed. My neck and back can barely handle the bed here.
All in all, I am thankful that we made it this far and that we have the means to take a trip like this. And I am thankful that we are broken, together.
Broken Together
What do you think about when you look at me
I know we're not the fairy tale you dreamed we'd be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery
How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night?
It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won't give up the fight
It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
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