Monday, November 19, 2012

Another Anniversary

I wrote in my last post about my life changing 9 months ago.  Today, however, marks a different anniversary   Instead of the night Kris found out about my affair, and I left our marriage thinking it was over, today marks 9 months since I walked back into my home and decided to FIGHT for my marriage.  I decided that what Kris and I had was worth the pain and sorrow.  It was worth whatever it would take to find healing and restoration.  It also marks 9 months of sobriety for both Kris and me.  This is a HUGE step for us and we are so excited to have made it this far.  In 3 short months, we will celebrate ONE YEAR.  I am daily amazed at what God has done in our lives and marriage since February.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Unsure where to turn

Nine months ago today, my life was turned upside down.  My husband stumbled upon something that I hoped he never would, and I was faced with the truth of the life I had been living.  The duplicitous life of someone who had spent years in sin and darkness.  I had to face the person I had become and admit to my husband that his greatest fears had been realized.

It's a night I will never forget, and yet, I feel nothing from that night.  In fact, I felt nothing that night at all, except frustration that Kris had found out, and scared of the future.  Scared of what it would mean.  For me.  For Kris.  For my marriage.  For the kids.  For my relationship with a man I had no business being involved with.

I felt no sadness, or shame, at that time.


Listen to this song.  I just heard it for the first time today.

Don't give up.

Enough said.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Come Home

I love the moments where Kris and I are laying in bed and I take his hand and tell him I love him, and he says something like "I'm so thankful for what we have."  Or, the times when he will just look at me, and tell me how beautiful he thinks I am.  Or the conversations we have about how God has changed us, and how much better our marriage is now that we have surrendered it to God.

You see, the first five years of our marriage, we both missed the boat.  The next seven we couldn't even SEE the proverbial boat!  I cannot remember a time during the first five years that we cherished little moments like those I mentioned above.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Marriage and Christmas music?

It's no secret, if you've read this blog for any amount of time, that music is a dear friend to me.  So, what do marriage and Christmas music have in common?  Everything when I'm involved!  Of all the music I love, next to Christian music with amazing lyrics, I am a great fan of Christmas music.  Christmas has always been my favorite time of year and the music was always played in my house growing up.  I have been known, on occasion year round to listen to Christmas music often, even if "out of season."  Yesterday I heard someone on the radio talking about Jason Gray's new Christmas album.