I've been a bit of a mess lately. We all know I'm not consistent with writing here. I know that when I'm not writing, I'm not as healthy as I could/should be. I know that, and yet, I am not actively pursuing the things that keep me the most grounded and emotionally healthy. This, my friends, is how depression works. People who struggle with their mental health aren't oblivious to the things that can help them.
Oh I should exercise?
Sure...I can barely get out of bed and force myself to shower, but yeah, let me just muster the energy to run to the gym.
Getting out of the house will help me?
Sure, let me just magically shove down the anxiety that is usually present before I even leave the house and go to a party.
Just stop being sad all the time?
Of course, that's the easiest one of all. I'll just think positive in the midst of all the negative thoughts that constantly fill my mind. I'll suddenly shift an entire lifetime worth of lies and other voices screaming that I am worthless so that I am no longer sad.