Leaving The Island

I can't help but feel emotional thinking about my 15th wedding anniversary. 3 years ago there is no way I would have ever imagined that I would feel the way I do today.  3 years ago I was as far from caring about my marriage as could be, with no desire to change anything. I was perfectly content to live my life on the sidelines, or worse, in darkness as I tried to live two different lives.

"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24

I tell women this all the time: at the end there, before I surrendered my selfish desires and sinful heart to the will and discipline of God, I was in love with another man. And I felt nothing for my own husband, the man I had vowed to love above all others, until death parted us. While I would not have called what I was doing hatred towards God or my husband, it really was. I was devoted to my life of sin, I loved the darkness for the "protection" it provided, and I despised Kris. I didn't care about God, right or wrong, or my husband. There was always a small part of me that worried about the pain I was causing others - but the farther away I got from God and what I knew was right, the less important this became to me. Until years later, all I cared about was what made me feel good in the moment. All that mattered to me was "him." I was devoted to that relationship, and despised my marriage and all it was supposed to stand for.

But God!

He intervened and has given me the best 2 1/2 years of my life.  And this year, on June 5, Kris and I celebrated 15 years of marriage.  And we did something we have been wanting to do for a very long time.

We took a REAL vacation.

Jamie's idea of a vacation.

On an island, on a beach, all-inclusive.

June 5-12 Kris and I splurged and went to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.  It was AMAZING!  Honestly, I don't think I have EVER been so relaxed as I was that week.  People have commented on the pictures, and I can see it to.  The peace in my expression, the joy on my face.  Kris and I enjoyed celebrating, just the two of us, with the beach in the background, food and drink prepared for us, at our disposal, great weather.  We traveled with Apple, and chose their 6 Golden Apple deal, which allowed Apple to select our resort and surprise us at the airport with our resort.  We wound up at Dreams Palm Beach and it was amazing.  The food was decent, the resort was beautiful, the weather was fabulous, the drinks were delicious, the beach was gorgeous.  The entire trip was such a wonderful culmination of these last 15 years and I cannot wait to do something like this again.  In another 15 years... :-)

But we did have to come back to reality.  We're back in full swing at work, though we have a couple more days kid-free.  We are meeting my parents Thursday evening to reunite with the kids.  I am trying to look at this trip as the last big hoorah before surgery.

Oh, did I not mention that?  Yes, I know I have been absent from the blog for well over a month.  Partly busy.  Partly laziness.  Mostly pain.  It just gets worse and worse and the most recent round of appointments and discussions have centered around the fact that the disc at C6&7 did not fuse properly.  My surgeon is hopeful that going back in will fix the issue.  If it doesn't...I don't know.  I don't want to think like that.  I just want relief that doesn't center around pain medication for the rest of my life.  So, surgery is scheduled for July 14.  It leaves me enough time to train a new guy at work, since my coworker quit unexpectedly last month.

So, all of that to say that this trip was exactly what Kris and I needed.  Not just to prepare for another difficult surgery, which will have a six week recovery time (and I will take every last day of it).  But also to focus on all that God has done for us, what He has given us.  He has restored the years the locusts have eaten indeed!

I am so amazed.

I am so grateful.

I am incredibly blessed.