Monday, August 18, 2014

Inside My Heart - Day 1

I began a post this morning that was cut short by taking Kaleb to his first day of school.  The girls started last week in the public school system, but for those of you who know some of the struggles Kaleb has had, we made the decision to put him in a local Catholic school.  And we are pleased with this decision.  We were even welcomed anonymously yesterday and it made my heart happy to find this sign in our yard.  Thank you Sacred Heart for making us feel welcome and for providing what I believe will be a safer and healthier environment for my son!

That being said, what I began to write has been postponed for now.  When Kris dropped me back off at home this morning, I took advantage of the cooler temperatures and kid-free time to go ahead and walk.  It is still the only activity I'm allowed to fully throw myself into and I knew if I didn't go ahead and do it, I'd likely never get out of the house until later tonight.

Normally to keep myself walking, I listen to a book.  But it was on my heart today to listen to music.  Yesterday I discovered an artist that some of you are already well-aware of if you watch American Idol.  Obviously, since I had never heard of him, I do not watch American Idol.  As many of my readers know, I'm a sucker for a good lyricist.  And I believe I have found one in Danny Gokey.  So feeling the need to listen to music rather than a book this morning, I turned up the volume and walked my mile listening mostly to my new favorite Danny Gokey songs.  And I thought, with everything happening in my city right now, some of these songs speak to what is happening.

And God revealed to me, through the music and the walking, this strong desire for peace.  Don't get me wrong.  From the onset, peace has been my heart's cry.  Peace.  On ALL sides.  And while there are cries for the facts, the facts-as we have seen throughout the last ten days-have brought anything but peace.  The more facts that are released, the more volatile the situation has become.  Opinions abound on all sides.  You have yours.  I have mine.

But while walking and praying this morning, as is best done in my life through music, God pressed it on my heart to share the music that has been speaking to me.  In essense, I felt God telling me to share my prayers.  They are not my own, in that they resound in the lyrics of others.  And as I was thinking on these songs and praying through the lyrics, I knew that this week, this blog would be sharing my heart, sharing my prayers through music.  These are my prayers for the family of Mike Brown, for officer Wilson and his family, and for the community of Ferguson and surrounding areas.

And there is not a better song to speak to the hearts of everyone hurting right now than "Not Right Now" by Jason Gray.  Listen.  This should be the Christian response to the situation.

While I wait for the smoke to clear
You don't even have to speak
Just sit with me in the ashes here
And together we will pray for peace

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