Monday, November 4, 2013

Our Hands Are Equally Skilled

Well, it's not Sunday, but Jon Foreman of Switchfoot has been singing in my head for a week and I just need to share.  I have had this song playing over and over in my mind for days - the words speak deeply to my heart and the poetry and truth hidden within this song resonate with me.

But I couldn't really explain why this song in particular was on my heart.  Until tonight.

Kris and I went for a walk tonight, something we've been trying to do regularly these days.  I was thinking back to how Kris and I never fight when we're walking.  I can't explain it, but I am thankful to have those peaceful moments, especially in the midst of what we are trying to grow through right now.  So tonight as we walked, we talked about some of our concerns and fears and just where we are at right now.

I expressed my struggle with fear.  I am, in no way, in the same place I was a year ago.  I was afraid of everything and focused too much mental and emotional energy worrying about the what ifs, especially concerning my children and husband.  What if one of them dies?  What would I do?  What if one of us becomes paralyzed?  Or, what if I get too far away from my own heart and wind up back in that same awful cycle of sin?  That is no place to live.  No way to go through life.  So God has done an amazing work in my heart and mind with regards to fear.

But I am still in this world, and I have not learned how to live without fear completely.  And the fear I shared with Kris tonight was specifically regarding his potential to regress back into pornography.  It came to the surface because Kris is contemplating doing some programming from home in the mornings, before going in to the office, and red flags go up in my mind.  Being home alone with access to the internet has never been a good situation for Kris.  We have safeguards and measures in place, but they aren't flawless, and someone who is determined can bypass those.  So I just shared my heart, and concerns with Kris being home in the mornings - if for no other reason than to be present and in the light with him.

This led us to talking about this draw towards sin, even though in that present moment we can feel strong.  And it was during this discussion that the lyrics to the song that has been on my mind kept playing.  It began to consume me, until I just had to turn it on.  We listened as we walked and I heard the song in a different light - in light of our own personal story and journey, and what Christ has done for us.

How miserable I am
I feel like a fruit picker who arrived here after the harvest
There's nothing here at all
There's nothing at all here that could placate my hunger

The godly people are all gone
There's not one honest soul left alive here on this planet
We're all murders and thieves
Setting traps here for even our brothers

And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands

What have you chased after, trying to placate your hunger? For me, it's been emotional fulfillment - completeness from someone, anyone, other than God.

The day of justice comes
And is even now swiftly arriving
Don't trust anyone at all
Not your best friend or even your wife

For the son hates the father
The daughter despises even the mother
Look! Your enemies arrive
Right in the room of your very household

And both of their hands are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of their hands
Both of their hands

Some things to consider...

No, don't gloat over me
For though I fall, though I fall
I will rise again

Though I sit here in darkness
The Lord, the Lord alone
He will be my light

I will be patient as the Lord
Punishes me for the wrongs
I've done against him

After that he'll take my case
Bringing me to light and to justice
For all I have suffered

And both of his hands are equally skilled
At ruining evil
Equally skilled
At judging the judges
Equally skilled
Administring justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands are equally skilled
At showing them mercy
Equally skilled
At loving the loveless
Equally skilled
Administring justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands

I love this third verse - this thought that we should be patient as God punishes us for the wrongs we have done, disciplines us for sinning against him. But it doesn't end that. After that...AFTER THAT...God will take our case and fight to bring us justice. Because His hands, like our own, are equally skilled.


His hands ruin evil.
They judge those who judge.
They administer justice.
They show mercy.
They love the loveless.

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