Today is a hard day. I can't explain it fully, because I am not even sure I understand it myself. It started yesterday, and I really feel like it is God pressing down on my heart. There is something He wants me to see. Something He wants me do. And I don't know how to do it. I mean, I've been doing it for nine months, as I have been drawing close to God, but I can tell that He wants something more.
He wants me to pray. More than I have been.
It may not seem like much to you, but what He wants me to pray for is crazy.
Okay, maybe "crazy" is a little extreme.
For two days, I have felt this heavy weight on me. Yesterday, as I thought through it all, the enemy was quick to attack. I had a really difficult drive home from work last night. Different thoughts and memories came flooding into my mind. The enemy was whispering, "Go ahead. Indulge. Just a little. Remember."
I was screaming inside, "I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! It's too horrible. What I did was so shameful."
He wants me to pray. More than I have been.
It may not seem like much to you, but what He wants me to pray for is crazy.
Okay, maybe "crazy" is a little extreme.
For two days, I have felt this heavy weight on me. Yesterday, as I thought through it all, the enemy was quick to attack. I had a really difficult drive home from work last night. Different thoughts and memories came flooding into my mind. The enemy was whispering, "Go ahead. Indulge. Just a little. Remember."
I was screaming inside, "I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER! It's too horrible. What I did was so shameful."
