Communication 101

Kris and I saw this the other day when we were waiting for our counseling appointment.  At first I was like "No.  That's not true!  I am responsible for what you understand."  But then, the more I thought about it, and discussed it with my husband, I reconsidered.

I AM responsible for what I say.

As a wife, and human being, I need to have control over my tongue.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example.  Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest fire is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue.  It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  James 3:3-8

Well, I don't know about you, but that kind of stops me in my tracks.

I have a BIG problem with my tongue.  I am a sarcastic person and when I am upset, my tongue is unleashed.  Shoot, when I am NOT upset, my tongue is often unleashed.  And usually my husband bears the brunt of that.  While Kris and I have been careful throughout our entire 13 years of marriage not to belittle one another with insults, I still hurt him with my tongue.  I say sarcastic things, to deflect from how I am really feeling.  I tend to struggle controlling my tongue.  And so I say hurtful things, even if they are not in the form of a direct insult.

Just as I am writing this I realize how much of a problem I have controlling my tongue.  I think it is interesting that, translated into English, the tongue is called a RESTLESS evil.  Restless.  Yeah, that accurately describes my tongue.

I don't really know where I am going with this beyond acknowledging that I have a long way to go with taming my tongue.  Or rather, letting God tame my tongue.  Since I am incapable of doing it on my own.  My prayer is that I can be aware of this the next time there is tension between Kris and I (and there will be because Satan is a jerk!), and choose to keep my tongue from moving.  To keep my tone even and less sarcastic.  To make sure that I am not giving Satan a foothold where my tongue is concerned.

Also, regarding the picture above, while I should be concerned about how I come across and how my words are interpreted, it is the other person's responsibility not to jump to conclusions.  Not to misconstrue my words.  Not to stop listening halfway through and not really hear what I am saying.  Not to put meaning to words that don't belong.

At the same time, this is also a really good reminder for me to really LISTEN to my husband when he is talking, trying to avoid any of those things I listed above.

How are your listening skills?

How tame is your tongue?

As chance God would have it, after I wrote this a song came on that I just couldn't resist putting up here.  You'll just have to get used to it!  Once you hear it, you'll understand why it belongs here.