Monday, September 10, 2012

Loving When It Hurts

It all began on June 5, 1999.

That is to say that the wedding took place that day.

Our life together began, officially.

Place me like a seal over your heart,
    like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
    its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
    like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
    rivers cannot sweep it away.
Song of Solomon 8:6-7

And while we didn't know it at the time, a full-scale war for our marriage began that day as well.

We were young and "in love."

And we were stupid.

We had big dreams and though my brand new husband had already confessed his struggle with lust to me prior to that day, we both were naive.  We believed that it would all go away when we get married.

You know, as soon as we were able to have sex.

As soon as it was morally acceptable.

Looking back, I can see how utterly foolish we were.

And how sneaky and deceptive the enemy was!

Satan entered our marriage the day we wed.  He would continue to move and work among us, building tension, enslaving us in sexual sins that we never dreamed we would engage in.  He would keep us trapped for well over a decade.

The vows we exchanged were just words.  They would come to be words that neither of us took seriously.  Words that would come back to haunt us.  Words that I would be unable to utter twelve years later.  Unable, because I didn't care anymore.  Because I couldn't honestly say that I even loved my husband, let alone pledge to be devoted only to him.

It was in February of 2012 that we had hit rock bottom.  Each of us individually, and also as a couple.  We were at the end of our proverbial rope.  And while my husband wanted to hang on to the fraying strands and fight for our marriage, I did not.  I chose to walk away.

This blog is our story as it plays out.

Loving When It Hurts is a story of hope.

It is a story of grace.

It is a story of love.

Of choosing to love, even when it hurts.

Even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is an account of the journey I am on now.

It is an eye-opening account of Satan's very real power in our lives on a daily basis

It is a real-life example of the power of God.

And most importantly, it is a story of redemption.

 It is a story of HOPE.

Even when you don't believe it...


  1. Sounds interesting! I look forward to more posts!

    1. I hope you stick around. Thanks for stopping by and reading.