For All The Prodigals (and those that love them)

This post is written to both the prodigals running from God, and to those who love the prodigals.  It is not directed at any one person, but is a response to a heaviness on my heart for all those who are standing for their marriages, and it is my hope that you can gain a better understanding of what may be going on in the heart and mind of your lost one.

Love is not a fight

So many of my friends are experiencing "issues" in their marriages.  It breaks my heart.  You know that song "Jesus, Friend of Sinners"?  There is a line in there that says "break my heart for what breaks yours."  And broken marriages are breaking my heart.  I think they break Jesus' heart too.

I know that every situation is different.  I know that every marriage can't survive what Kris and I have survived (or worse) and that there are always other factors that will make it difficult to STAY married.  Getting out seems like such an easy answer.  I never thought I would want to get out of my marriage.  Until 8 months ago.  8 months ago, I seriously thought "Can I do this alone, or should I try one more time to fix what is broken?"

Falling Slowly

From the moment I discovered Glen Hansard and The Swell Season, I was in love.  The music is just amazing.  Glen's voice gives me chills.  And when he sings with Marketa Irglova...I just can't explain it.  Their music is incredible, and it moves me.  Some of you not familiar with these artists may have at least heard the song "Falling Slowly."  It has grown in popularity in the last couple of years and it is mesmerizing.

The Ugly Truth - Part 2

In my last post, The Ugly Truth - Part 1, I left you with these words:

"But I was wounded.  And I never really healed and experienced God's grace and forgiveness.  I knew about it, cognitively.  But my mind and my heart were so disconnected from each other.  And it became something that I would wrestle with for the next seven years."

I have wrestled with whether or not to share this next part of my story on here.  Prior to now, I didn't feel like it was time.  Sometimes I wonder if God wasn't just grooming me to start this blog, and share that part of the story here.  I do not feel the same resistance and hesitance I felt before about sharing this next part of my story.  Perhaps it is partly due to the fact that Kris and I have twice now shared our story "officially" in front of a group of people.

So, it is with my breath held that I am about to plunge forward into this second part of my story.

Loving When It Hurts

It all began on June 5, 1999.

That is to say that the wedding took place that day.

Our life together began, officially.

Place me like a seal over your heart,
    like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
    its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
    like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
    rivers cannot sweep it away.
Song of Solomon 8:6-7

And while we didn't know it at the time, a full-scale war for our marriage began that day as well.

We were young and "in love."

And we were stupid.