Monday, December 3, 2012

Love Never Fails

"To Exhaustion...and Beyoooond..." (said in the best Buzz Lightyear impression I hear in my head...)

That's the adult battle cry.

At least, that's how it feels for us lately.

Kris and I fought a lot during the last week.  It was primarily me, as always.  But that isn't even why I'm writing.

I'm writing tonight because something is on my heart.  On the way home from work tonight, I was heavily under attack.  Thoughts came into my mind that I didn't want.  Memories.  Things from my past threatened to swallow me.  It kept building and building, and as much as I tried to focus on something else or pray, it was persistent.

So I used the alliance that Kris and I have, and I called him.  We had some brief small talk, and he could tell something was wrong.  I was edgy and frustrated, because there was a lot of background noise and I couldn't hear him, and I just really wanted to tell him what had been going on.  It was as if, even then when I tried to do the right thing and talk to Kris, the enemy tried to get in the way.  But my husband, being the amazing man he is, asked me what was wrong.

And I wasn't afraid to tell him.  Did I wonder, in the back of my mind, if it would hurt him?  Yes.

But, Kris is pretty much the most amazing man in the world.  I don't deserve him, and yet he is in my life just the same, and I am a better person because he is by my side.  And I couldn't just cushion what I had to tell him.  I couldn't sugarcoat it.  That's not who I am.  It isn't how I talk or think.  I usually just spit it out, without thinking about how it will sound.  This is what I said (or something close to it):

"I was just driving and started thinking about <insert name here>, and I can't stop.  And it's making me mad."

He immediately said, "Let's pray then."

So my husband prayed over the phone, with me, while I drove.  I cried, listening to him pray.  He spoke words I needed to remember.  He asked God to remind me of what He has done in my life and heart.  He reminded me that I am not that person anymore and it was a reminder I was desperately in need of.  I didn't even realize how much I needed it until he spoke the words.  I felt so refreshed and so filled with love for that man.

I'm just a really blessed woman.  Beyond what I deserve.  Beyond what I can even imagine.  I am so grateful to God for each new moment I have with Kris.  And I am thankful that I can tell him another man's name that I can't get off my mind, or about memories that plague me, and he prays for me.  He doesn't get mad at me or heap guilt on me.  He doesn't judge me or allow the sins of my past to distort his view of me.  He just loves me the way that I imagine Christ loves the church.  Love really does never fail.  When you love the right way, you know?


  1. Thank you for the kind words babe. I really love you and am so thankful for the work God has done in us.

  2. That is definately one amazing man you have! No offense or hurt, just still so totally by your side. Make sure you hang on to him!