Friday, January 18, 2013

Family Tree

I received an email recently from a woman who is living with collateral damage.  And while emailing back and forth, it occurs to me that I need to share this with everyone. 

It's never too late. 


You know, Kris is teaching our son to avert his eyes.  He is teaching him that there is so much sex out there.  He is helping him to understand that it is not good for his eyes to view it.  Something will come on TV and my son will say "Eww..." and turn away.  He wonders why people would dress the way the do. 

When Kris was Kaleb's age, he was looking for something to watch on TV that showed women in tight clothing.  He was fueling his mind with what would turn into two decades of addiction.  From generation to generation, men have passed their sin and addiction onto their children, even if they didn't realize they were doing it.

But that stops with us.

We will break the cycle of sin surrounding the area of pornography.  We will not allow our son to be taught (or just ignore it) that seeing a woman dressed inappropriately (or not at all) is OK.  It is simply not OK.  I do not care what society says.  I do not care what TV and movie portray.  We will not continue the vicious cycle.  It ends with Kris.

I will teach my girls to dress modestly, and I will teach them WHY.  They will learn that it isn't simply because I want to restrict them or because they just shouldn't show too much skin.  They will learn that it is because it is their job as Christian girls, and eventually women, to encourage and uplift their brothers in Christ.  And how they dress directly affects any man that they come in contact with.  Staying inside your house and looking at pornography in secret is one thing.  Going outside your home, you don't have a choice, as a man, but to be surrounded by too much (ANY) cleavage, too much leg, women walking around in their bras and panties essentially.  A man's mind is made to see these images as beauty and these images arouse men.  There is no denying that. 

I will be open and honest with my girls, as they get older, and they will know that they have a responsiblity to any man (Christian or not) to ensure that THEY are not a source of temptation in the way that they dress.  I believe that our generation needs to take action and starting teaching our girls the proper way to dress, instead of just choosing not to fight that battle. 


Your daughter's life isn't the only one that depends on it.  Every man they come in contact with--their lives depend on it.  Theirs souls depend on it! 

It's time for men of God to step up (and I know some of you reading are and I praise God for you!) and teach your sons a correct way to view women.  They should be taught that it is inappropriate for them to see a woman showing too much cleavage or some thigh, instead of just accepting that that is just how our society is.

Screw society and our trends!

We live in an evil world and it's tainted.  Satan's fingerprints are all over it, and I can see it so clearly.  We have to rise up and teach our children that what society accpets is not necessarily the RIGHT thing.

All of that ranting to get to a song that God has put on my heart.  I could go on and on about the topic, because I feel very strongly about it.  But I will stop for now.  Primarily because my lunch break is almost over.  :-)

Please listen to this song and consider for yourself that it is never too late to change.  You can change the course of not only this generation, but generations to come!  Generational sin does NOT have to follow you.  Choose to leave a different legacy and change your family tree!

Family Tree - Matthew West

You didn't ask for this
Nobody ever would
Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It's your sad reality
It's your messed up family tree
And all your left with all these questions

Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was?
Do you have to carry what they've handed down?

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

I have a dream for you
It's better than where you've been
It's bigger than your imagination
You're gonna find real love
And you're gonna hold your kids
You'll change the course of generations

No, this is not your legacy

This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

Cause you're my child
You're my chosen
You are loved
You are loved

And I will restore
All that was broken
You are loved
You are loved

And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring
You're brining new life to your family tree now
Yes you are
You are

No, this will be your legacy
This will be your destiny
Yesterday did not define you
No, this will be your legacy
This will be your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring
You're bringing new life to your family tree now

[ From: ]


  1. Hi Jamie,

    I've been following your blog for several months and I want to applaud you and Kris for your transparency in a time period when we in the body of Christ still tend to prefer to hide our transgressions and imperfections. It takes courage to lay it out there and allow yourself to be known, warts and all. It is our Lord's path to healing and deliverance because we can only be healed if we acknowledge that there is something to heal. By opening your mouth and speaking, you're giving courage to other believers to not suffer needlessly in tormented silence.

    On the subject of porn and erotica, I would strongly encourage you and Kris to take a look at this website:

    This website has changed my life permanently and it is, in fact, still re-wiring my mind and heart even as I am typing this.

    I am in the same mode right now as Kris, teaching my sixteen year old son the value of godly purity. However, what I am teaching him now is not exactly the same as I was teaching him two years ago. A few nights ago, my boy and I watched the critically acclaimed movie Schindler's List about the Nazi persecution of Jews and it was deeply moving to both of us. I never watched when it first came out because I was warned by Christian media that it had violence and full frontal nudity (the Jews in the camps). Now, I can see that it was a mistaken judgment because the context of the nudity was not an intention to sexually titillate but to accurately portray what actually happened in that dark period of history.

    I could say much more, but please look at that website thoroughly and tell me what you think. Promise? (I'm very curious as to what your impressions are).

    Many Blessings,

    Your bro' in Christ,

    1. We have checked out some of the content of the website. While there seems to be a lot of truth in it, there are some points that we have trouble latching on to, especially in light of teaching our son, and what to teach him. As well as with Kris as he is in recovery. We believe that the steps we are taking right now are where we need to be, and we will continue reading through the articles. Thanks Ed.